My Taste Buds Are Forever Changed: I Tried It So You Don't Have To
The Infamous Beijing Drink: Douzhi'er
Remember those viral videos of tourists in Beijing gagging and spitting out some murky-looking stuff? That, my friends, is douzhi'er. Curiosity, as they say, killed the cat, and in this case, it led me straight to a questionable culinary experience.
My friend vehemently warned me: "It smells like sewage!" (her exact words). But fueled by sheer audacity, I dragged her along on this questionable quest.
For those unfamiliar, douzhi'er isn't just your regular soy milk. This fermented mung bean drink (豆汁儿) is a whole other beast. Unlike the sweet and fragrant soy milk (豆奶) we know and love, this one has been through a fermentation process.
The Michelin-Starred Experience
We (well, mostly me) ventured to Beijing's most renowned douzhi'er vendor, a place so legendary it even boasts a Michelin star! Talk about authentic.
To be fair, the experience wasn't as horrific as the online reactions led me to believe. The aroma, while pungent, didn't immediately induce vomiting. I even managed a few sips, maintaining a remarkably calm composure that earned me bewildered stares from passersby. It wasn't unbearably disgusting.
That said, it's definitely not winning any flavor awards. Uncorking the bottle was akin to releasing the scent of a pickle jar that's been fermenting for three years – sour and stinky. And the texture? Thick, not watery. Imagine a porridge concocted from pickle juice, old gym socks, and the perspiration of a senior citizen. Not exactly delightful.
My Brave Face and Immediate Regret
Calmly, I told my friend, "It's... interesting, not terrible." Then, I casually tossed the entire bottle into the nearest trash can. The police officers nearby probably chuckled, thinking, "Another stubborn tourist bites the dust."
"Why didn't you finish it if it was 'interesting'?" my friend inquired. I explained that while I physically could drink it, I didn't believe meals should require such Herculean effort.
The Ultimate Torture Test
In short, if captured by the enemy and interrogated with this drink, I'm confident I could protect any hiding comrade. However, if my future spouse dared to serve this for breakfast, divorce papers would be filed faster than you can say "fermentation."
Oh, and a little bonus: Over 24 hours after imbibing this "magical" elixir, I experienced some...digestive distress.
There you have it. My douzhi'er adventure.
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